For a Personal Skills Assessment class I had to take a lot of different personality tests, as well as skills assessments. It is a class designed to help us better focus on what our gifts and talents and strengths and weaknesses are. My results were must like I expected, I'm outgoing, I like to study, I like to teach. When I put together my final packet for my professor, his comments were something to the extent of "You will be tempted to get by on your charm and charisma in ministry...the MDIV should kill that." He spoke some serious truth in that statement.
Most of my ministry has been in front of people, I don't really have the kind of personality that sits by on the sideline. I like to be up front I like to motivate and challenge people I like relationships and interacting with people. As I have pursued ministry and teaching I have found myself not always putting the kind of time and energy into prepping every week like I should. Many times, on the train into the city I was finishing Bible study prep as well as trying to prep for teaching for the night. I would often just pray and "wing it" hoping God would move and relying much more on me than on Him. I have since realized in taking time away from ministry that even though I am not worthy of being called into his ministry, God for some reason has chosen to use me. I saw so many times the few nuggets that I could put together for teaching God used to challenge and encourage and rebuke the guys I was teaching. It had nothing to do with me, because I was clearly not faithful with the task I had been given. Reflecting on that time has challenged me in the way I do ministry, to do it to the best of the time talent and ability that God has given me. What does all of this have to do with seminary?....
I'm getting my butt kicked by my workload this semester. Learning Hebrew is tough, Greek Exegesis is tough, the amount of reading I have due is tough. I realize this sounds like a rant and I am not the only one with a heavy work load so I should suck it up and deal. But the great thing about this feeling of overwhelming work, the feeling that a giant wave is crashing over me and drowning me is this... I hit the pillow last night and just prayed. It had been so long since I really called out to God and talked to him about what was going on with me. It had been too long since I laid my thoughts, my fears, my hopes on Him. My natural tendency when overwhelmed and confused is to shut down and give up and just try to sleep past it all. This seems to be different, I have been infused with a renewed sense of "gettin at it" when it comes to my studies. I have begun to remember that this is about God and not me, I am starting to get out of "grind it out" mode and back into really enjoying the work set before me. I still feel really overwhelmed and a bit beat up but I have been renewed and gotten a second wind. I attribute that to my calling out to God, my asking for help. This wouldn't have happened without the giant workload. Thank you for kickin my butt seminary, I might be pressed but not crushed, tired but not sleeping, confused and turned around because I don't know how to pronounce most of the Hebrew words I am trying to memorize but....well I'll get there.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
This is Where We Are Going
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.' Revelation 2:17
What is Your New Name?
How do we "Get After It"?
What will that moment be like when your Savior calls you by the name that best describes who you are, a secret name between you and your King?
This year at Windy City Blown Away we will Pursue the White Stone together.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Rob Bell's New Book
I am in no way an authority or person of importance in the Christian world. I'm just a seminary guy observing and trying to figure things out like everyone else. I was just checking twitter and watched the whole John Piper Rob Bell thing explode. I read the article on the Gospel Coalition and a few other articles and saw my liberal friends take one side and my conservative friends take another. Here's my thought. I don't know how much water it holds, its just some thoughts.
My friend Jimmy Spencer responded to this whole situation with a video saying that Rob Bell (we never just call him Rob, it's always Rob Bell, I guess it just rolls together like that,) has the right to ask questions. I totally agree to that statement, he does, just as I do, have the right to ask the tough questions when it comes to life and faith. I think talking about the afterlife and pondering those questions is fine and we can do it and disagree about it and that's fine. I have plenty of friends who I know love Jesus, are saved, and who I completely disagree with on a lot of issues. Anyway that's a different post for a different day.
Everyone is up in arms about whether or not he's a universalist or if he has left Christianity. I think it's fine that he asks the questions that he does and tries to get people to ponder and think and discuss things but the way he has gone about it with the publicity that has gone out about his new book leads me to say "Didn't he realize what he was saying?"
I know the book isn't even out yet, a very small group have actually read the whole thing, so we the public are in no place to judge or condemn the book, but I can judge and have an opinion about what Rob Bell and his marketing team have put out for us so far. Did no one at any point stop and say "Hmm this sounds a bit like we are supporting universalism, is that really what we want to do?" And if it IS what Rob Bell was intending then I can come up with one of two conclusions to draw: 1. He is a universalist, and if he is, ok just say so and let's move on. 2. He's not a universalist he is merely trying to stir the pot and get some word of mouth about his new book. Which to me just comes off as kinda dirty.
It seems to me that he has done more than enough and sparked enough conversations/controversy to make sure that his new book will sell well. I have no idea what kind of conclusions or ideas Rob Bell develops in his book. I have no idea if he is a universalist or not. I do know that he asks tough questions, and challenges ideas and concepts often. I think it is silly for people to be upset over the reaction that others are having to this whole situation. It seems that no one took into consideration the reaction that the press release would have. Do my more liberal brothers and sisters really think that statements like that would immediately send our conservative brothers and sisters to respond? And then flip that, do my conservative brothers and sisters really think the liberals would respond/defend Rob Bell?
At the end of the day it looks like a short 3 minute video and a small blurb about the book have created enough buzz for this book to make someone a lot of money. I don't know Rob Bell's heart or motives. I know that his publicity made me worry a bit about what the book is going to say. I'm not ready to condemn him but I am a bit skeptical of the whole situation.
Again, I'm just a guy. You can agree or disagree, just wanted to add another voice to an already overly commented on subject.
My friend Jimmy Spencer responded to this whole situation with a video saying that Rob Bell (we never just call him Rob, it's always Rob Bell, I guess it just rolls together like that,) has the right to ask questions. I totally agree to that statement, he does, just as I do, have the right to ask the tough questions when it comes to life and faith. I think talking about the afterlife and pondering those questions is fine and we can do it and disagree about it and that's fine. I have plenty of friends who I know love Jesus, are saved, and who I completely disagree with on a lot of issues. Anyway that's a different post for a different day.
Everyone is up in arms about whether or not he's a universalist or if he has left Christianity. I think it's fine that he asks the questions that he does and tries to get people to ponder and think and discuss things but the way he has gone about it with the publicity that has gone out about his new book leads me to say "Didn't he realize what he was saying?"
I know the book isn't even out yet, a very small group have actually read the whole thing, so we the public are in no place to judge or condemn the book, but I can judge and have an opinion about what Rob Bell and his marketing team have put out for us so far. Did no one at any point stop and say "Hmm this sounds a bit like we are supporting universalism, is that really what we want to do?" And if it IS what Rob Bell was intending then I can come up with one of two conclusions to draw: 1. He is a universalist, and if he is, ok just say so and let's move on. 2. He's not a universalist he is merely trying to stir the pot and get some word of mouth about his new book. Which to me just comes off as kinda dirty.
It seems to me that he has done more than enough and sparked enough conversations/controversy to make sure that his new book will sell well. I have no idea what kind of conclusions or ideas Rob Bell develops in his book. I have no idea if he is a universalist or not. I do know that he asks tough questions, and challenges ideas and concepts often. I think it is silly for people to be upset over the reaction that others are having to this whole situation. It seems that no one took into consideration the reaction that the press release would have. Do my more liberal brothers and sisters really think that statements like that would immediately send our conservative brothers and sisters to respond? And then flip that, do my conservative brothers and sisters really think the liberals would respond/defend Rob Bell?
At the end of the day it looks like a short 3 minute video and a small blurb about the book have created enough buzz for this book to make someone a lot of money. I don't know Rob Bell's heart or motives. I know that his publicity made me worry a bit about what the book is going to say. I'm not ready to condemn him but I am a bit skeptical of the whole situation.
Again, I'm just a guy. You can agree or disagree, just wanted to add another voice to an already overly commented on subject.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
hypocrite
(disclaimer: It's my blog I can complain and rant if I want. I realize my issues and problems aren't near the ones of most people but this is where I'm at right now. God will be good and glorified in my issues and He will be in yours as well.)
When I tell people about me being in seminary and pursuing the Mdiv and pastoral ministry I always talk about how it's all in God's timing and it's not about me and it'll get done when it gets done. And then at the same time for the last two days I have been stressing and struggling and generally upset and depressed that I can't afford full time this semester. For the first time ever I sat down and did a budget and got stuff together and felt like I was in good shape, then I found out that the tuition payments are way higher than expected and everything went down hill. I'm frustrated and angry and my natural instinct is to curl up in a ball and sleep and just avoid everything. On top of it all I have a greek test today.
I wanna trust I wanna learn I wanna know that God is providing and keeping track of me and gonna take care of me. I wanna be connected to Him. And yet I have stressed and worried about money, something I have never stressed over. So what if I have to go part time this semester? So what if it takes me longer. For the first time in a long time I need to actually believe that it really is HIS timing and HIS plan. I have begun to stress and worry and fight expecting to find an envelope of money on the ground or for someone out of the blue to call me an offer me money as if I deserve it. I haven't prayed about money I haven't prayed for God's provision, and so now that I realize that I need it and don't have it I begin to get frustrated and act as if I deserve it. God is good, and right, and just, and pure, and I am selfish and selfcentered, and not anywhere near as connected as I should be.
My prayer is simple, through having to be part time and letting my "plan" get thrown off course, that I may remember to trust and lean on and be connected to Him whose plan this is and whose service I hope to be employed.
When I tell people about me being in seminary and pursuing the Mdiv and pastoral ministry I always talk about how it's all in God's timing and it's not about me and it'll get done when it gets done. And then at the same time for the last two days I have been stressing and struggling and generally upset and depressed that I can't afford full time this semester. For the first time ever I sat down and did a budget and got stuff together and felt like I was in good shape, then I found out that the tuition payments are way higher than expected and everything went down hill. I'm frustrated and angry and my natural instinct is to curl up in a ball and sleep and just avoid everything. On top of it all I have a greek test today.
I wanna trust I wanna learn I wanna know that God is providing and keeping track of me and gonna take care of me. I wanna be connected to Him. And yet I have stressed and worried about money, something I have never stressed over. So what if I have to go part time this semester? So what if it takes me longer. For the first time in a long time I need to actually believe that it really is HIS timing and HIS plan. I have begun to stress and worry and fight expecting to find an envelope of money on the ground or for someone out of the blue to call me an offer me money as if I deserve it. I haven't prayed about money I haven't prayed for God's provision, and so now that I realize that I need it and don't have it I begin to get frustrated and act as if I deserve it. God is good, and right, and just, and pure, and I am selfish and selfcentered, and not anywhere near as connected as I should be.
My prayer is simple, through having to be part time and letting my "plan" get thrown off course, that I may remember to trust and lean on and be connected to Him whose plan this is and whose service I hope to be employed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
